Rants, raves, fiction, and laughs

Monday, May 17, 2010

Must Love Dragons (The Motion Picture) my head.

Assume you have just won the equivalent of the literary lottery and a major film studio wants to turn your work into a big-budget motion picture. Which of your stories would you like to see as a film, and who would you want to be involved (actors, director, etc.)? Also, CGI or no CGI?

Werewolf Kibble posted this today, so instead of editing my next post of Madame Bluestocking's Pennyhorrid I found myself unable to think of anything else! So here for your edjumacation is the complete MU as I envisioned it. This is Must Love Dragons (available for pre-order at Hunt Press) as a movie.

NOTE: First of all, I've always seen MLD as an ANIMATED MOVIE, but that's not what the exercise is about. : )

DIRECTOR: Stephen Sommers

I LOVED S.S.'s Mummy movies (the first two) I haven't seen the third and I'm pretending "Van Helsing" didn't happen, BUT the wonderful combination of humour and the fantastic along with CG effects and cinematogrphy makes me wish THIS guy was taking the helm.


Linus Weedwhacker

The Protagonist.
Linus is a 52-year-old cynical ex-alcoholic ranger back out of retirement. We experience the world of Tereand through his cynicism and expertise as he travels with his young, starry-eyed companions.

Played by Hugh Jackman:

I had just watched "Die Hard" for the first time, when creating Linus hence the grittiness and the family-man aspect. But he's also English and sounds like Hugh Laurie in my head. The closest I could get to reconciling both was in HJ.


The Ficelle and Beta male.
Every buddy-act needs the pop-eyed optimist who doesn't think twice about rushing into danger and is always ready to ask: "what happens if I pull this lever?" two seconds AFTER pulling it. Morfindel is inexperienced and hyper, Linus's utter contrast but becomes his dearest friend, after a father-son fashion.

Played by Tom Felton:

I was trying to find pretty young boys, who could do a british accent and decided to see what the HP looked like now (I always see them as kids in my head.) I saw Tom Felton's picture as a brunette, and decided he was perfect (I'd seen him in other roles too so I knew he was good.) He could probably do Morf's puppy-like excitability very well.


the flighty wizard and resident "chick"
Wendria is a perfect if baffiling blend of clever and idiotic. She's a university student and a bright one at that, but she can't seem to get her head down from the academic clouds. Occasionally she shows a fair bit of spunk.

Played by Alexis Bledel:

I liked Alexis in Gilmore Girls, I think she'd compliment Wendria's chatty space-case personality, if she were willing to go blonde.

Tyrrus Gruthsfield

The Old Mentor with a Vendetta
Gruthsfield is Linus's old mentor, harbouring a grudge against his former acolyte. While Linus has learned to move on, G. has been consumed by bitterness.

Played by Gabriel Byrne:

I'm a huge Gabriel Byrne fan. No one can look evil and wounded at the same time like him, and that's extremely necessary.

Deirdremagorafangowenetherix (Deirdre)

The Faithful Wife
Deirdre was a Red Dragon until she gave up her powers for humanity and became Linus's wife and mother to his children. She's not in the book much but is a constant presence that the visual medium of a movie would make more apparent.

Played by Julianne Moore:

Deirdre will always be a young Geena Davis in my head, but if I had to pick someone now a days who's age appropriate and still has that fiery spirit with a Mother's Gentileness, I'd pick Julliane Moore (unless Geena wanted the job).

Other notable cast members:
Voice of Frost Bite: Bill Nighy
Quince: Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson
Gildorian: Robert Sean Leonard
Voice of Gak the Kobold: Tom Kenny

And there you have it. There's a few characters I haven't cast, like BART. The reason I didn't cast Bart is because it would require a child actor (aged 11 or so) and a) I don't know of any and b) I would rather the kid be good than famous.

There would HAVE to be CG of course because it's not like Warner Brothers can call up a "Dragon Wrangler" and get one sent to the set. I'd want the Jim Henson creature workshop people involved in all dragon and Kobold Nonsense. If anyone could make scaly silly iguana people it'd be them.


Amalia T. said...

Any movie with Hugh Jackman will get my butt in a seat and my money for admission. That is all there is to it :)

M.T. Murphy said...

Sommers is a great choice for director. Whenever the Mummy films are on, I can't stop watching them. Van Helsing, despite its many flaws, has my favorite werewolf creature models of all time.

Between the cast and story, count me in for a seat on the front row on opening night. Since the movie may be a while away, please keep me posted on the book as you get closer to the release date!