This is my entry in Sangu's blogfest. It's an interview with my character from Madame Bluestocking's Pennyhorrid, Evelyn Kelly. This interview is mostly stream-of-consciousness with very little direction. I wanted the conversation to be as "real" as possible. This to all intents and purposes: Me talking to myself.
SETTING: Coffe shop in Leesburg VA. Monica Marier (me) is sitting on a sofa with an extra large cappuccino with 2 additional shots. Kelly has a house coffee and a ham and cheese croissant.
He’s a man in his early thirties, with untidy brown hair and sleepy eyes, wearing disheveled Edwardian clothing. His fingers are constantly rapping on the table, playing with his spoon and shredding his napkin to pieces.
ME: Alright so let’s talk.
KELLY: Why me?
ME: I just want to find out more about you. You’re a character that I’m still having a little trouble understanding.
KELLY: That’s fine by me. I guess I just figured you were going to be talking to Linus today. He’s only your most successful main character. You've written three books about him.
MONICA: Exactly. I already know most everything about him. It’s you I don’t know.
(Kelly looks out the window uncomfortabley)
MONICA: You’re not drinking your coffee. Is it cold?
KELLY: I try to avoid caffeinated beverages. I’m high-strung enough as it is.
MONICA: That’s right I made you a paranoid.
KELLY: You made me a nutcase. And why an alcoholic? On top of everything?
MONICA: Well, that was kind of accidental. Since you’re living in an Edwardian world, they don’t have things like Zoloft or prozac, so I had to make do with what was available in the time period. Plus, most men I know are self-medicators. It seemed to fit.
KELLY: Don’t you already have an alcoholic main character? Linus was the flagship drunk of your brain-children. Isn’t one enough?
MONICA: Linus is a FORMER alcoholic. There’s a difference. And he drank because he was depressed, not because he was trying to stop the mad voices in his head.
KELLY: That’s fair enough, I suppose, but in my serial you have me drink no fewer than ten drinks in a single day!
MONICA: Uh…. That was because I made you a tightwad. You’ve only had that many drinks because they were all free.
KELLY: Oh, that’s not at all an Irish stereotype, is it.
MONICA: Technically, you’re from Dunray. Ireland doesn’t exist on Paracelos.
KELLY: Oh, please! Evelyn Kelly? Could I BE more Irish? I even sound like Dylan Moran in your head.
MONICA: Yeah, ok, you got me. It’s because you were an Irishman in a previous ‘life.’ You were originally an Irish orchid hunter in 1870’s. Then I decided to put you in Tereand with another daydream doodle I’d had of an Elven WWI pilot who rode a Dragon.
KELLY: Lynald Wingaurd. Who has the same initials as Linus Weedwhacker.
MONICA: (facepalm )Yeah, didn’t realize that until it was too late. Although, to be fair I could never decide whether it was Lynald or Rynald. I think for the final compilation, I’ll change it to Rynald.
KELLY: Can you change my Christian name to Steve?
MONICA: No. Evelyn stays.
KELLY: Why, for feck’s sake?
MONICA: Because it’s funny. It’s also tribute to another male Evelyn: Evelyn Waugh. Wait. I’m supposed to be asking questions. How come you’re asking all of them?
MONICA: Well how am I supposed to find out anything about you if I don’t ask questions?
KELLY: I should think you learned something already.
MONICA: Like what? That you don’t like caffeine?
KELLY: Well, yes that, and…. I don’t like being asked questions.
MONICA: Well a fat lot of help this was.
KELLY: Should have talked to Linus. That guy doesn’t shut up.
MONICA: I need a brownie.
KELLY: Get me one too.