Robins in Spring

I kept trying to think of lyrics to a piano piece I wrote this month. Unfortunately the smart-ass in me wanted it's say, thus this Linus episode came into creation. In this section, Linus Weedwhacker (a Half-Ef) is living in quasi-exile among the Halfling town of Burrowsborough.

The wet morning turned into a pleasant afternoon as the Burrowsburrough walking club trekked towards Callain Forest. The three Halflings' voices rang sweet and clear over the rolling hillsides as they tramped merrily over the lush grass. Linus bringing up the rear was not having a good first day of it.

He was growing weary with their singing. So far the walking club had sung songs about walking, about bathing, about eating biscuits, about hay mowing, spinning, dancing, bowling, rowing, fishing and making jam; it was starting to get tiresome.

“Do you lot ever do anything that you don’t sing about?” he asked the Halflings.

“Well, one thing,” said Ludovic with a lusty chuckle.

“Unless there’re no ladies present,” added Malachi.

Even Linus had to laugh at this. In the end, menfolk were menfolk wherever you went.

“You don’t like singing?” asked Ludovic accusatorily. Among Halflings, an aversion to song was almost as suspicious as not drinking.

“No, I just don’t know the words half the time,” admitted Linus.

“I know, we’ll play ‘make a verse’ then,” said Eddie. Ludovic and Malachi heartily agreed to this.

“Is it more singing?” asked Linus.

“Yes, but you make up the verses as you go,” said Malachi

“I’m not good at verses,” grumbled Linus.

“Neither are we. It’s just all in good fun,” said Eddie.

“I’m good at it,” said Ludovic frankly.                             

“Yeah, he is,” conceded Eddie. “But Malachi and I could use the practice.”

 “Fine,” sighed Linus.

“What melody are we singing?” asked Malachi.

Eddie thought about it. “Let’s see. It has to be one that Linus knows.  Let’s use ‘The Whispering Willow.’ You know that one, Linus?”

“Yuh,” admitted Linus. It was the third movement from the Elven Baraloneth et Geheren (wisdom and foolishness) suite and currently a popular dance piece for reels. Linus knew the song, but it wasn’t his favorite, containing a lot of “tra-las” and “hey-nonnys.”  The first verse of the song went thusly:

Ah! De wilo sussuraeg— eernen! (tra-la-la)

Hu tylwa sul seunthsiul  gren (ah-ha!)

E farsad en enhodia ohr

Londias a dianeen indas demas helior

Far Il heded entritan Il wod sil rechor

Il entri e wilo a slen

(He-nonni-koem-lalli)

Ah! Entritan es naepothen!

 It was a rather fluffy song about wishing trees could sing, using tired Elven metaphors. Every verse had the word “green” in it and there was constant adoration of beautiful ladies with nothing interesting happening—the usual cue for Linus to take a nap in his chair. When Linus was forced to sing it at parties, he usually did it in a killing impersonation of a drunken Elven prince. It was a very popular bit among his city friends, but he’d never sung it in earnest before. He liked the tune, however, and was willing to play the game with only the usual grumbling.

“What’s the subject?” asked Ludovic.

“Can’t we make it free-form?” asked Malachi hopefully.

“You’re not singing about fruit trees again. You always sing about fruit trees,” snapped Ludovic.

“I like fruit trees,” mumbled Malachi looking longingly across the farmlands towards his orchards.

“The subject is…” Eddie looked about him and eventually spied a flash of orange hopping along the dirt road. “…Robins.” He said.

“I’ll go last,” said Linus nervously.

“Suit yourself. You’ll all have a tough act to follow though,” boasted Ludo who dove right in with his strong clear voice.

Ludo’s verse:

Ah, if I were a robin in springtime, (tra-la-la)

T’would be quite a marvelous thing, (a-ha)

I’d fly about on the gentle breeze,

And take my tea whenever I please,

With butterflies for my bread and cheese,

And pudding of dragonfly wings,

Hey nonny-come-lally!

I’d feel like a jolly old king!

Ludovic finished to hearty applause from the other three.

“I say, well done! Not one pause!” cried Eddie in approval.

Linus was too impressed to say anything. A smug grin crossed Ludo’s face as he perceived this.

“I knew you’d sing about food, Ludo,” said Malachi with a snort.

“How can a Halfling who likes his pudding as much as you be thin as a rail, I’d like to know?” commented Eddie. “Right. My turn.” Eddie began to sing. His voice wasn’t as fine as Ludo’s and he was going flat by the end of it, but he made a good show.

Eddie’s verse:

A robin’s a regular dandy, (tra-la-la)

The cheekiest birdie he be, (a-ha)

His scarlet waistcoat turning heads,

He looks so beguiling a fellow in red,

With his suit and gold stockings he looks quite well-bred,

In his mansion high up in a tree,

(Hey nonny-come-lally!)

The finest bird, don’t you agree?

There was moderate clapping followed by a pause while the others were considering the merit of Eddie’s rhyme.

“It’s not bad,” said Ludo eventually. “The ‘be he’ part bothered me. And I don’t think birds live in mansions.”

“They don’t eat puddings either,” said Linus, coming to Eddie’s rescue.

“You paused a bit in the middle,” Ludo persisted.

“I was going to say ‘orange’ instead of ‘red’, and stopped meself,” admitted Eddie.

“Dodged an arrow there, no mistake,” laughed Malachi.

“Alright. Who’s next? Linus? Mal?” said Ludovic.

“I’ll go but don’t laugh,” said the usually boisterous Malachi looking abashed. He began softly in his capable voice. It was a good rhyme and was sadly riddled with frequent pauses as Malachi worked out the rhyme or had to remember what he’d just come up with.

Malachi's verse:

O if I were a robin in springtime (tra-la-la)

I’d start every day with a song (a-ha)

Good night Miss Moon, I see the sun!

Now get thee to bed for his turn has begun.

And when I am singing to everyone,

They might join me in singing along.

(Hey-Nonny-come-Lally)

You might feel like singing along

They asked him to sing it again without the pauses so they could hear it properly, and they all agreed that Malachi was a fine competitor. Ludo frowned at being upstaged.

“You used ‘along’ twice and stole my first line,” he said bitterly, but they paid him no mind.

“It’s Linus’s turn now,” said Eddie.

“Er,” stammered Linus.

“Go on, bigg’un.  See if you’re a match for Halfling rhymsters,” said Malachi.

“I doubt it,” said Ludovic with a snort. “Look, he’s sweating.”

It was probably Ludo that did it in the end, for Linus grit his teeth and launched into a sardonic verse on the spot.

Linus’s Verse:

I don’t give a fig about robins, (tra-la-la)

A robin has nothing to boast. (a-ha)

It’s far too early when they sing

And their cheeky attire doesn’t do me a thing

In fact of the things I detest about spring,

I hate songs about robins the most.

(Hey Nonny-come-lally)

I fancy a robin on toast.

The last line made Eddie and Malachi burst out laughing until they sat on the grass to calm down. Even grim Ludovic cracked a smile but he refused to concede victory to Linus since he obviously “hadn’t taken the game seriously.”

“Oh give over, Ludo! He’s as funny as Doctor Frumbold on a good day!” said Eddie when he was able to draw breath.

“Hrmph!” grunted Ludovic, trying to sound bitter but his lips kept twitching into a grin.

Sadly, Linus had set a precedence that day that would haunt him to the end of his days in Burrowsburrough.

2023

by Monica Marier

The bitch is back! I'm jumping back into Friday Flash after a LOOOOOONG hiatus. Hopefully this is the start of more beautiful magic in my life. Wish me luck.



The city outside was hidden in a cloud of whirling green particles. The advisories today were all code-red warnings coupled with 2% visibility. “Civillians strongly advised to stay indoors,” Jamie repeated under his breath, in time with the broadcast. He didn’t care. He had to see Anh today. It had been five days of code reds and the school holidays were almost over! Desperate, he and Anh plotted to meet at the mall today. Both of them were going to get in a lot of trouble for it, but they both decided that it would be worth it to see each other. His mom would simply block his G3 access for a week, and with school starting in two days it wouldn’t matter much.
It was dangerous; Jamie was deemed a “high-risk citizen” by the board of health and one slip-up could be fatal. There were stories on the news everyday about people like Jamie who had “just gone out for a few hours,” and never made it back. He would have to take every precaution if he wanted to make it back home alive… so his mom could kill him.

Jamie tiptoed to the mudroom and got ready to go outside. His mom would be in her room until she finished her first pot of coffee, so he had a good twenty minutes. He would need every second. First came the brown canvas coveralls; his fingers trembled as he did up the snaps. He double-checked, then triple-checked to make sure all the snaps were done tightly and there were no gaps. He tied his boots and secured the cloth wraps around the cuffs of his pant-legs. Jamie set his headphones to the playlist Anh had made him and pulled up his interior hood. He checked to make sure his goggles were clean of smudges and smears before putting them on; he wouldn’t have opportunity to clean them until he was safely at the mall. Goggles in place, he checked the filters on his respirator and hooked it on. He also grabbed one of the outdoor-kits full of water, emergency protein, glow tubes and adrenaline injections. Then came the large hooded serape which he draped over all. It was bright orange to combat the low visibility of the green storm and the second hood and face-wrap protected the gear from prematurely wearing out. Last of all, he put on the clumsy gloves and wrapped the ends around his sleeve cuffs.

“Jamie,” came a voice from his mom’s bedroom. “Jamie did you check the dryer for your clothes?”
“Uh, they were still wet so I restarted it,” lied Jamie, hoping his voice wasn’t too obscured by the respirator.
“Okay,” said his mom.

She didn’t call for him again, so Jamie seized the opportunity to slip into the detox chamber and run outside. He forgot to brace himself for the wind and nearly toppled over as a blast of air and debris slammed into him. He shook his head at his own idiocy and began his slow march to the mall. The visibility was too low to drive. As he plodded down the sidewalk, he noted that there was no one else on the streets today. There was only whirlwinds of green fuzz that danced in circles, or shambled in clumps down the high street. Jamie concentrated on his playlist as his heavy boots plodded through the yellowish drifts.

He was almost at the mall when he saw the car. Someone had been stupid enough to try to drive today. A Chevy Quasar had careened off the road and smashed into a lamp post. It was only superficially damaged, but peering through the broken windows, Jamie knew that the driver was dead. The moron hadn’t been wearing a respirator; it was lying on the passenger seat next to him. He’d probably thought he was safe enough in the car with the filter running full blast. Jamie shook his head and flinched at the sight of the swollen black face lying lifeless in his seat. Jamie’s dad had always made them wear respirators in the car. He knew that it only took a few seconds for the car’s filter to hiccup and leave everyone exposed to the lung-choking particles. Jamie was growing hardened to the sight of dead people covered in a dusting of green, but it was never easy and it still made him feel horrible.

Jamie’s mom assured him that this was a good thing. It was a sign that he was growing into a good person.

Mom had often told him that it hadn’t always been like this. She remembered when the green storms started to make life unlivable for people. She said that when she was a girl, it had been different.

Jamie had already walked into the detox chamber before he realized he was at the mall. The blast of purified air shook him as it removed the green motes stuck to his clothes. Then the blast of icy air froze and killed the particles. Lastly the, mild chemical shower rinsed him off. He stepped out of the chamber and unhooked his respirator and goggles.

“Jamie!” cried Anh.

She ran to him dressed in similar orange and khaki, she too had livid red marks on her face from where her goggles and respirator had dug into her face. Jamie smiled and took her hand. They hugged and clumsily kissed each other.

“Anyone here today?” asked Jamie.
“Yeah, there’s a few shops open— ooh! And both the Starbucks and the movies are open today,” said Anh.
“Cool!” said Jamie. This was better luck than he expected. “I was afraid that everything would be closed again.”
“I know. But shop-owners gotta eat I guess.”
“Last day of holidays,” sighed Jamie. “Why did spring have to come so early this year?”
“But the news said pollen season will be over earlier too. We should be back in the school building by late April this year!”
“That’s true,” said Jamie with a grin. “Let’s just enjoy this afternoon before we go back home and get our asses flayed by our folks.”
“Yeah,” said Anh resting her head on Jamie’s shoulder. “I hate pollen season.”
“Me too,” sighed Jaime.

Outside, the green storm raged.