Warning: this passage is a little racy
I'm behind, stressed out and over-caffeinated, but I'm still in the game. Here's a passage from this week's NaNo of the 3rd book in the Linus Saga "Inquire Within." It's much shorter than last week, but it contains adult situations involving *gasp* old married-couple sex. Of course, this is me we're talking about so it's more silly than sexy.
"Do you think we've lost our old spark?" asked Linus sitting up in bed.
"I said it was fine," said a freshly bathed Deirdre as she walked to the fireplace to dry her hair.
Linus watched the light play on her curving breasts and thighs and shook his head, "No, I'm serious. When our idea of foreplay is rubbing liniment on our sore muscles, you start to wonder."
"About what? What do you wish would happen?"
"Nothing...it's just...a general longing for the past, I guess."
"Well, what's the point of that?" asked Deirdre. "No changing that, I'm afraid."
"I know...I just remember when we...I dunno...Remember our trip to Ewis?"
"Not really. We didn't see much of Ewis," said Deirdre with a grin.
"That's what I meant."
"Well yes. I didn't say I didn't have fun."
"Well that's what I'm talking about! A five day holiday! We don't do that anymore,"
"Well your knees have troubles after the third time...or you fall asleep."
"I know, I know,” grumbled Linus. His neck felt it had to interject at that moment, and it seized up from the cold water droplets on it. Linus cursed and tried to rub out the kinks.
“Oh my gods, is that my bum?” said Deirdre suddenly.
Linus tried to see where she was looking, and caught sight of Deirdre’s posterior as it was reflected in the vanity mirror.
“Don’t know whose else it could be,” he commented cheerfully.
“Uh!” said Deirdre in disgust, rising from her seat. Her red hair draped over her body like a mantle as she strode indignantly towards the mirror, watching herself in horrified fascination.
“It’s floppy!” she hissed.
“I like it,” said Linus without hesitation. After seventeen years, he was good at this game.
“It’s jiggling. I have a floppy granny bum that jiggles when I walk!” moaned Deirdre.
“I think it’s marvelous,” continued Linus.
“Urgh,” gasped Deirdre again. “What the hell are these lines? Are these stretch marks?”
“They’re rather fetching,” said Linus. “Like silver tiger stripes.”
“And my tits nearly reach my belly! You can tell I’ve had eight children–they look like a pair of stockings hanging to dry.” said Deirdre, with the air of one determined to make a complete go of it. “And my neck! I saw it wobble a bit when I moved my head just now, did you see it? Look! It did it again!”
“I don’t see anything,” said Linus, honestly.
“And my arms. I move ‘em too quick and they make a horrible slapping noise. Listen to this,” Deirdre made fast gyrations with her shoulders so that the slightly loose skin under her arms vibrated with the movement. “It sounds like a slab of bacon landing on a stone counter!”
“You’re getting worked up, luv,” said Linus, who wasn’t actually paying attention to her arms when she did that.
“Of course I’m getting worked up! I’m a saggy floppy wrinkly old lady with a turkey neck, stretched out tits, a mottled tummy, jiggly bum and musical arms!” said Deirdre, staring in the mirror, still transfixed by every flaw she saw or imagined. She stopped abruptly when she felt warm skin press up against her bare shoulders and felt Linus’s naked arms entwine around hers. The rough bristles on his jaw tickled as his lips gently caressed the soft skin of her neck. Then she felt, rather pointedly, just how attractive he thought she was.
“My goodness,” she moaned softly as he coaxed her back onto the bed.
“My wife,” he said he pulled the blankets over them.
Deirdre sat up suddenly, knocking her forehead against his chin.
“OH! I forgot to check on the baby! I’ll be right back!”
“Argh!” grunted Linus, slumping face first into the pillows while Deirdre pulled a robe on and ran out the door.